I was going to wait to update until after my appointment with my surgeon on Wednesday. But things have been deteriorating rapidly, so I figured I would just update now.
It’s been getting increasingly more difficult to walk. I have incredible pain in my left hip from the impingement, so I have been putting more weight on my right hip. However, my right hip has never been quite as strong or the same since the impingement & surgery I had on it four years ago. I can feel my right hip clicking now and becoming more unstable. I also noted my left knee feeling unstable. It feels like it’s dislocating. I put my hand over my kneecap and bent my knee and when I went to straighten it out I could feel my kneecap crack and pop back into place. Gross I know.
In addition, I still haven’t gotten the surgery I need for my wrist. I’m borrowing a pair of crutches from a friend which has helped with the hips mildly, but now I’m putting all this weight on my wrist that has cysts in it. It hurts. I have a high pain tolerance due to being in some amount of pain literally all the time. This last week though has been excruciating. It feels as though my whole body is going to fall into pieces any minute. I know that sounds dramatic, but it’s legitimately how I feel.
This is all taking a toll on me emotionally today. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Connective tissue disorders are unpredictable. In two weeks time I went from working full-time to barely being able to get out of bed. I’m frustrated. I’m scared about my future. I’m exhausted.
Something I’m grateful for is the amount of support those around me have showed. I’ve had friends help with childcare (especially on weekends- I’ll be putting something up about that soon), deliver groceries, and bring us meals. Thank you to those who have reached out ♥️ It’s incredibly hard for me to ask for help. I feel embarrassed, vulnerable, and that I am a burden. There’s still a lot of emotional growing up and nurturing I need to do as my physical needs change. I have a feeling I’ll be unpacking some of that in this upcoming season of need.
This picture is unrelated, I just thought I looked happy and pretty ✨