what’s in a spoon

I chose this name for two reasons. The first being for those of us who are #spoonies, I figured you’d gravitate to it and know this is a safe place for you here. You are seen and there is room for you at the table. The second is for those who don’t know “The Spoon Theory” and are seeking enlightenment on how they can better connect with and support their loved ones who experience chronic illnesses. This might be a helpful tool for you too.

The Spoon Theory is a personal story told by Christine Miserandino. Christine suffered from Lupus. The direct link to her story is here, https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ , but the idea is the metaphor of spoons as finite units of energy. Those who are healthy possess a more-or-less infinite amount of energy to complete the tasks of a normal day. These are for things one can take for granted, like getting dressed in the morning or cooking a meal. However, those with long-term illness don’t have this luxury. They wake up in the morning with a fixed amount of spoons. For some it might be 12, for others it’s 6. And they must choose, do I get groceries? Or do I take a shower? If I have lunch with that friend, will I be paying for it for a day? You are in constant negotiation with yourself, borrowing a spoon from tomorrow to complete a task of today. It is exhausting and difficult to explain to those who aren’t in the trenches as some are.

This place is a space to both learn and grow together. I want to share my experience. I want to hear yours. I want to offer compassion and grace, both to those around me and also, the hardest part, to myself. This is about me, and it’s also about you. Let’s sit at the proverbial table and really know we’re not alone, and recognize what a gift that is.

Don’t worry, I saved a spoon for you.

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1 Comment

  1. Thank you for sharing about the spoons. I have a few people very close to me with chronic illnesses and this is an awesome way of understanding on a simpler level a piece of the daily struggle.


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